so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
