Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
two words: eviction party
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize