Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm always down for nudity.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
