playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
