In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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