i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It was a blind-side dick pic.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
