Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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