Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
