worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
