So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I love you. Go after that dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
