shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
