i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
