yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
