just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
so much tequila, so little girl.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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