Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
