Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
