I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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