I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
