Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
