help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
