is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
