So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Damn victory sex feels great
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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