Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
