I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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