You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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