Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
