apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
