would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
