Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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