Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
