pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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