Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize