pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
