theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
