No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
