Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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