I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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