at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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