I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
