i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
