ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize