This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
