Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My vagina is very pro this idea
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