but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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