I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
