his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
