Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
