I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
