I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
