i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Barsexuality is the new black.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
