Kiss
Puke
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
