she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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