No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
