i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
