She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
