I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
