I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
