New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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