there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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