come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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