Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
