So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
