Porn is love you can see.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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