Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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