hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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