doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
