Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
