at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
